January 2013 to August 2013 Three Sentence Movie Reviews

Gangster Squad:

So much fun. I thought Sean Penn as Mickey Cohen would steal the show, but it was Josh Brolin’s performance as a hard-boiled dick that really won me over. Exciting smack talk and fight scenes. 

Warm Bodies:

It’s great to see a zombie movie from the zombie’s point of view. Really fun and sweet. I can see how this would become a favorite rom-com for many couples. 

Jack the Giant Slayer:

You know, it was really fun. The story is exciting, with some surprising twists. Well worth your time if you’re still a kid at heart. 

Iron Man 3:

IRON MAN IS FUCKING AWESOME! Great continuation of the story, dealing with Tony Stark’s PTSD from Avengers. The kid in the movie really comes through as a great part of the movie. 

Star Trek: Into Darkness:

Cool, but not as good as Star Trek. Had many meta references to Wrath of Kahn, which wasn’t bad, it just wasn’t good. Watching Spock put some serious foot to ass was fun. 

Fast and Furious 6:

CARS GO MUTHERFUCKIN BOOM! The Rock and Vin Diesel fight like a bajillion guys. This is a fun and exciting franchise of heist films, and I like heist films and look forward to the next movie. 

The Hangover: Part III: 

Not as good as the original, but it’s not bad. If you like dick jokes, you’ll like this movie. It’s always refreshing to see John Goodman get some work. 

Much Ado About Nothing:

Simply beautiful and charming. The grasp of the text, performance and   pretty much everything is tremendous. This deserves ALL the awards. 

Pacific Rim:

Such a great sci-fi film. You know it’s about giant robots fighting giant monsters, but when you’re watching it you’ll be like “HOLY FUCKING SHIT, IT’S GIANT FUCKING ROBOTS FIGHTING GIANT FUCKING MONSTERS!” Really covers the human side of apocalypse very well. 

The Wolverine:

Kind of disappointing. There’s some good moments in the film, but the plot is lacking. We deserve a good Wolverine movie and this isn’t it. 

Elysium:

It’s a good movie and shows how Sci-Fi can show us the problems in our time. I didn’t expect much from this film and was surprised, where my friends had high expectations and were disappointed. SPOILER ALERT: they didn’t have Mecha-Jody-Foster appear as the final boss fight, no matter how cool that would’ve been.

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